tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post3501740182776964113..comments2023-04-06T01:00:38.088-07:00Comments on The Depressed Reader: Alone in a crowdTDRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626690700825096080noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-84268665258883871822010-08-06T04:48:11.960-07:002010-08-06T04:48:11.960-07:00Hello everyone, thank you very much for your comme...Hello everyone, thank you very much for your comments. You all had a slightly different take on my post, but you all had something of real substance to say.<br /><br />Just as Wendy said, I am an introvert, and I push myself to be outgoing, "the life of the party", mingling and networking. But it isn't me.<br /><br />And as Noodlefingers mentioned, others can only give us so much. Expecting too much from them is futile. Other people can help us, but no one can save us. We have to do that for ourselves.<br /><br />Johnny Appleseed and his brother gave a good job of explaining what it is like to be an introvert, and until I read your post, I never really thought about how much energy social interaction takes for me, especially in large groups. And yeah, being an introvert sucks sometimes. But, like you say, it does mean we get a lot of reading done!<br /><br />Snowbrush makes a good point about it being simplistic to set up the perceived behavior of others as a standard for ourselves. We are all different, with different abilities and personalities. Such comparisons seem to be unhelpful.<br /><br />But "post of the week" goes to Nick. Nick, I don't know what to say about your comment, except that it made perfect sense to me, and really helped cement some of the ideas from the previous posters.<br /><br />As your prize, please enjoy Monty Python's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buqtdpuZxvk" rel="nofollow">The Galaxy Song</a>!TDRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05626690700825096080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-29045663965288754082010-08-04T11:20:00.171-07:002010-08-04T11:20:00.171-07:00You know, I used to feel the exact same way as you...You know, I used to feel the exact same way as you describe when I was younger. I feel I put myself under a lot of pressure to try to fit in at these type of social gatherings, and I used to think that my lack of ability to communicate easily with strangers. I guess now, when I look at things, I'm really no better at it than I used to be, it's just that now I don't particularly care. <br /><br />The way I see it, there's room in this world for all types of people, and there is no point in trying to be someone you're not. There's no wrong or right way to be a human being - despite pressures from society, the final judge of us as a person comes from ourselves. There's no universal rule saying "Thou must befriend everyone you meet", in fact, there are no rules at all. <br /><br />That being said, I think it's a natural thing for human beings to desire companionship. It's up to us as individuals to decide where that companionship comes from, and choosing a form of companionship that we feel comfortable and suits our personality. <br /><br />Anyway, to conclude the preceding (probably incoherent) ramble, don't beat yourself up about it. After all, in the end we're all just worthless clumps of dirt on an insignificant planet orbiting around a puny star at the edge of one of the infinite-ish galaxies in a universe that doesn't care :-)Nick Dovernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-11110395134191288702010-08-04T11:05:22.454-07:002010-08-04T11:05:22.454-07:00" I am the cause of my unhappiness."
I ..." I am the cause of my unhappiness."<br /><br />I relate to much of what you wrote, but I don't blame myself for it. As I see it, different people simply thrive--or not--in different situations, and it's simplistic to set the perceived behavior of others up as a standard for oneself.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-9933119610395514732010-08-02T21:38:29.445-07:002010-08-02T21:38:29.445-07:00Noodlefingers makes an interesting point, "I ...Noodlefingers makes an interesting point, "I sometimes listen into other people's conversations and if they don't interest me I move onto the next." Looks like Noodlefingers is definitely an extrovert! Sometimes I listen into other people's conversations, and even if they greatly interest me I stay silent because I feel I don't have a close-enough relationship with the speakers to join the conversation, or at the time I just don't have the energy to deal with the dynamics of conversation. So there seems to be some conditions - 1) I know the speakers well and 2) I feel like talking. If neither of these conditions are met the conversation will probably be akward and the other person will move on. Sucks being an introvert, but hey, we get a lot of reading done don't we?Johnny Appleseed's twin brothernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-51216796940533175022010-08-02T21:20:39.691-07:002010-08-02T21:20:39.691-07:00Looks like Wendy beat me to what I was going to wr...Looks like Wendy beat me to what I was going to write. Just seems, like me, that you are an introvert. I also despise large groupings, especialy with new people, and prefer smaller, closer relationships. Sometimes it even takes years for me to get over exchanging pleasantries and find that I actually like a person and can develop the relationship further. I read somewhere that for an introvert, social exchange is literally exhausting, mentally and physically, but not so for an extravert, so we run out of steam quickly. <br /><br />We live in a society, social exchange is necessary for our self-esteem and development. But for an introvert small doses are much healthier. So don't be ashamed that you are uncomfortable around people. All it means is that when you do make friendships, though it may take time, they will be deep and lasting.Johnny Appleseednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-81687124258243215172010-08-02T09:04:11.536-07:002010-08-02T09:04:11.536-07:00Yeah some people always feel uncomfortable around ...Yeah some people always feel uncomfortable around big groups I guess it all depends on preference. Maybe it's just not your thing. But the video above had some good points even though it was a 'little' dark. If you start talking like that I swear I'll slap you in the face haha. Anyways in reference with what you said earlier about people sensing something wrong and then eventually going away I think that it's normal for a person to lose attention and then have it drawn to something else. I sometimes listen into other people's conversations and if they don't interest me I move onto the next. It doesn't mean that I felt something weird, it just means there's something more shiny and sparkly somewhere else that's distracting. Don't expect so much from other people, they can only give you so much. You gotta give some in return. And you gotta communicate what you want clearly...I need to follow this as well!noodlefingershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03653702393554156421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6992384760002237497.post-62144920979696324832010-08-01T12:06:07.596-07:002010-08-01T12:06:07.596-07:00It sounds like you're an introvert, much like ...It sounds like you're an introvert, much like myself who struggles with wanting to be social, outgoing, but it's not me...And at the same time, I'd rather be alone than in a miserable relationship, romantic or otherwise. That's why I have my cats, a good therapist, a few close friends, my blog and of course a good book. It's not just you, we live in an extroverted society no matter where we are, except perhaps Buddhist monks which believe me sounds appealing some days. Hang in there and know you're not alone.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05078434289667660306noreply@blogger.com